August 19, 2009

Scott called at 7:45 this morning telling me they were taking him off for surgery in his arm, to put in the by-pass on his fistula. For the past two das Scott and I have been explaining to the drs that Scott doesn't want this surgery since he's so close to tranplant. He feels it's unnecessary and invasive (it's also permanant). So they weren't supposed to be doing this. He was paniced so I asked hime to buzz for his nurse. After staying on the phone with him a few minutes and both of us falling back asleep I just told him to call me back when she came in. When I woke up an hour later I called again because I'd not heard back from him. We paged the nurse again and she came within a few minutes. She explained that someone from radiology was the room and she needed to speak with them and asked to call me back. I told her sure - but that he couldn't go anywhere until she and I spoke. When she called back she explained to me that they wanted to take Scott to put in his "perma-cath", his new dialysis port. So the freenzy of Scott being paniced was just simply him misunderstanding what they told him. Now here's the thing. For three years, being in and out of the hospital and various outpatient surguries I can't begin to express the importance of having someone with you who is capable of understanding. Scott's had and infection attacking his system for days now, two surgeries in the last 48 hours and has been on a pletera of medications that alter his thinking. The medical staff has to continue moving forward with treatment(s) and often can't wait for a patient's caregiver (or whoever) to be there. This is why I try and stay at the hospital for as long as possible when I am there. This has become my full time job, taking care of Scott and what Scott has to deal with. Today I'm home. I would like to say I'm sitting around getting some rest, no so. Because Scott's been in the hopital since Friday and I've been with him nothing here at home has been tended to. I'm having to move forward with the list of things Mom and I started before she left last Saturday, all of which has to do with Scott's medical. The list had about 20 things on it. I'm having to deal with doctors offices calling wanting payment - three of which are at the point of refusing service. The house is a mess, and to top ift off my doggies hate me right now. They've been left alone all day and when I do get home I'm way to tired to take them to the dog park or on a walk. Mind you they have a fenced in back yard to romp in but they are pack animals and want someone around. This has been going on for three years now with Scott's kidney failure and the other medical issues and complications. The first two years I was working full time. I tried to go to freelance and have picked up some work this year. Because we are so close to transplant though I can't commit to a gig where if we get the call I'd have to cancel. If I opted not to cancel I wouldn't be able to give 100% to my job. I am emotionally and physically fatigued. Enough ranting from me for the time being. Back to the to-do list.